Posts Tagged ‘Friends’

Blog – Living with Schizophrenia

Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

My name is “Katherine” and I have suffered from schizophrenia for over 25 years. Sometimes I can’t believe I have had this condition for as long as I have.

It started when I was 25 and has almost become a part of me. The first few years I was at University and suffered with it alone; the first time I had a Psychotic Breakdown was when I was living as a student in Mexico.

The “startling phase”, as author Marius Romme puts it, is a very scary time when you don’t know what is happening to you. I knew I was “going mad” but couldn’t articulate what was happening to me, I half knew the voices weren’t real – but they seemed very real to me.

They never told me to do anything, but commented on me – something they still do sometimes, saying negative and abusive things about me. It is like all the negative things anyone ever said about me were stored in my subconscious, ready to pounce on me unawares.

A New Chapter

Up until last year I was working part time as an admin officer for a supported housing unit, and before that I worked for a mental health trust in the NHS. I found working very stressful – not so much because of the actual work, which I found quite therapeutic; but because the symptoms I suffered from, the paranoia and voices and anxiety, made it difficult at times.

I was dismissed from work in January because I had been off sick most of last year. Although my Salford employer were good, I was unable to carry on working because of my symptoms.

Dealing with the symptoms was made more difficult because of the lack of continuity of care I had when I moved to a different area – I got no help from the mental health team there. They referred me to my GP for care, and it wasn’t until I moved house back to Salford that my treatment improved. I saw a psychiatrist who increased my medication to help decrease the symptoms, and I now have a CPN too; it helps to talk to her about my issues once a month.

I now volunteer once a week , which is good for me – I get social interaction, and also do some work, which is good for the soul. I would like to be able to work again on a part-time basis when I eventually get a bit more control over my symptoms, although with something like Schizophrenia these are difficult to eradicate totally even with medication.

I am going to go to Mind in Salford’s Mindfulness course soon, which I hope will help with my anxiety. Problems with my neighbours make my anxiety and stress levels much worse, and cause lack of sleep – and these make my other symptoms worse.

I will also be undergoing a short course of CAT (cognitive analytical therapy) in Trafford, which I hope will help me control some of my symptoms.

I do a lot of reading and recommend “Accepting Voices” by Marius Romme, which explains all about voices and helps you to come to terms with them. There are many publications written by the Hearing Voices Network (who I used to volunteer for) and they are very helpful as well. Another good book I found was by a group of psychologists called: “Think You’re Crazy, Think Again”.

Living with Schizophrenia – and Stigma

Living with psychosis can be a full time job, especially if you don’t take medication, which I didn’t for the first few years. I didn’t see a psychiatrist until 1993, and it started in 1989. I did see student counsellors, but they weren’t much help, and didn’t realise I was as ill as I was – in fact I think they needed better training.

When I was at uni I was all at sea, I became more and more isolated, and the friends I did have didn’t understand, and weren’t very caring or compassionate. It was quite a lonely place.

I had psychotherapy at the Red House (1994-1996), where I met my husband and learned to understand myself and my parents better. I met a few good friends there as well, people that really understood me, and were on my wave length. They didn’t have schizophrenia, they had other mental health issues, but they could understand. I still have one good friend from the Red House today.

It is very difficult making friends with this condition. You are afraid of revealing too much information. To say you have Schizophrenia is to reveal yourself and to be judged by something so stigmatising; it is one of the last taboos. People make assumptions about you, are scared by you, dismiss you because they think you are the illness.

It doesn’t help that all the media broadcasts negative things about Schizophrenia, axe murderers, machete be-headers – in the same way that Jihadists are written about. There are rarely positive things written about people with the condition. They don’t say that people with Schizophrenia can be kind, can have their own house and job, and have loving relationships just like anyone else.

Life with Schizophrenia can be challenging, difficult and sometimes a nightmare – but there can be good times, times when you can enjoy the simple things in life, like a day out at the beach or a laugh between friends or partners, stroking a purring cat or even something mundane like a nice cup of tea and a biscuit.

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This blog has courageously been written by one of our service users; “Katherine” wishes to remain anonymous to avoid facing more stigma in the future.

If you connect with anything within this blog, and would like more information or help, the Hearing Voices Network can be contacted via their website www.hearing-voices.org.

If you wish to find out more about our Mindfulness courses, visit our Mindfulness section; a referral form can be found there too.

Blog – Talking about Depression…

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

There has been a lot of public debate about mental health recently, specifically relating to depression and suicide.

Two key phrases I’ve heard repeatedly are ‘ask for help’ and ‘talk more about mental health’. Whilst this is encouraging I feel these sentiments can be misconstrued to place all the responsibility on dealing with depression with the person suffering from depression.

Asking for help is not always easy – depression often goes hand in hand with low self esteem, and without being prompted, without being asked, there can be a tendency to think that others do not care how you are, and that you are not important enough to be helped.

Talking about mental health is not always easy – constantly having to find a way to explain what it is like, that depression is a fatiguing & debilitating condition, not just being a little sad; that the anxiety you have is a little different to feeling a little afraid of flying.

Media stereotypes of other conditions make talking about them even harder – trying to explain the terror involved in OCD without someone thinking it’s a big joke, trying to explain the voices in schizophrenia without someone thinking you are a ‘crazed mental patient’.

How do I help someone who is suffering?

In the age of the internet, with Google, Wikipedia and mental health resources like Mind at your fingertips, why does the person who is ill have to justify themselves repeatedly? If you care about someone, look up the condition, understand it a bit more, and ask considerate questions of the person who is ill. Often it can feel like you are being asked to prove that there is really something wrong with you, rather than the asker showing compassion for the person suffering.

One of the biggest things you can do for someone who is depressed is to ask them how they are and to spend some time with them. Show them you care. Don’t shun them because they are finding it difficult to talk to people or socialise – withdrawal is a symptom of the illness.

It’s also important to talk about more than just mental health – because someone is ill doesn’t mean they become just the illness. Talk about your own life too, talk about football, films, music, celebrities or even (grimace) tennis if that’s what you would normally talk about with the person.

It can be extremely soul destroying suffering from mental health problems, finding out that you don’t have complete control over your mind. Some people don’t want to talk about their mental health problems – but that doesn’t mean you don’t talk to them at all! Most people still need to feel wanted, to have some evidence to counter the misinformation about their self worth coming from their own minds.

How do I find out more about mental health

It’s important if you haven’t experienced mental health issues to be aware of its effects so you can help those close to you. It’s important if you have a mental health condition to understand that you are not alone, that others suffer the same and (sooner or later) recover their health.

I’ve previously written about anxiety, depression and me, and our manager Markus has written about how he learnt to hug the black dog. There are many more really good mental health blogs out there – Time to Change is a good place to start, and I’m a fan of Black Dog Runner’s blog too.

At Mind in Salford we run Mental Health Awareness Training for organisations, helping them to support and understand people better. The training helps you to be more aware of the actual symptoms of mental health issues, re-thinking the tabloid stigmas and thinking about how you can help everyone’s mental health, whether they have mental health problems or not.

As stated above, Mind also have many well written guides to various mental health conditions and other related topics, and Time to Change have some basic myth-busters and tips on talking to people who are ill.

Blog – Anxiety, Depression and Me

Thursday, July 10th, 2014

I’ve been suffering from depression and anxiety for three years now, and it is really getting me down.

I am writing a short personal account about my depression and anxiety because I strongly believe that being open and honest about mental illness helps reduce the stigma and discrimination that people face – and helps people struggling themselves with their own mental health problems.

My experiences with depression

This is not the first time I have suffered from depression, having had a prolonged and serious episode at university, but since then I had kept it largely under control, working full-time for the next 9 years, with many and varied responsibilities and consistent promotions, as well as a total of less days absence than years worked.

I continued during the first 9 months of depression to work full-time, but mistreatment at work combined with the loss of managers, structure & friends due to their redundancy were taking their toll on my private life, where I was withdrawing more and more from the slightest activity or contact.

This withdrawal I suppose was a subconscious fear of getting too close to people and then losing them – I have not been in communication with my parents for many years, my remaining grandparents died shortly before the depression set in and close friends had moved and/or drifted away in the same period. The redundancies of friends and my management team subsequently added to these losses, and consequently deepened my anxiety, depression and ongoing problems with sleeping.

It all came to a head when I was shot down on attempting to stand up to the bullying and neglect at work, and I quickly imploded, not sleeping for a number of days and doubting myself to the point of being ready to attempt suicide.

An intervention from my GP and the mental health crisis team meant that I ended up in hospital rather than dead, but by this time anxiety had set in like I had never previously known. I was having panic attacks going outside, and was anxious all the time.

Over the next few months I began a recovery supported by the unrelenting positivity, compassion and communication from my sister, together with support from a couple of friends. After a major breakthrough in counselling allowed me to stop heaping blame on myself so much, I returned to work part-time.

A few months at work, and, despite some effort, a continued lack of support and understanding, together with a failure to resolve the problems with mistreatment, led to my depression and anxiety deepening again. After many months of psychology, I returned to work a second time and despite one manager making a concerted effort, I was disenfranchised and had a similarly rough experience. People continued to make assumptions on what I was thinking, and what I could and could not do, and there was a continued failure to resolve the original problems. With my self-worth once again reduced to near zero, I ended up leaving about a year ago.

Through all this time, the anxiety about going outside has remained – meaning I have often gone a day or two without food until hunger has trumped anxiety – and then I’ve gone to the corner shop and ended up stuffing myself with pies and/or chocolate.

I’ve developed food intolerances whilst suffering from anxiety, which has made going out for food even more difficult. I’ve struggled to get out of bed for days at a time, been fatigued almost constantly, and fairly often fallen into a trance trying to make decisions.

I’ve struggled to look after myself at all – to clean myself, my flat, clothes or dishes, to cook, to spend time enjoying myself or relaxing. My concentration has been awful with any passive tasks like reading or watching TV, and I’ve struggled with a lack of any motivation much of the time – with headaches, exaggerated anxious reactions and a clouded mind making this even worse.

My mental health has put considerable strain on my relationship with my sister, and around the time I quit work it had really started taking its toll. My sister has had to greatly reduce her contact with me to protect her own mental health, and together with the much reduced social contact due to not working, and more friends departing from regular contact, the brief upturn in my mood following leaving work was not sustained.

Over the last year I have gained purpose and friendship through volunteering with Mind in Salford, and have also resumed going to counselling – and combined these have managed to keep me together enough to keep going most of the time. I can not emphasize enough how important a purpose, social contact and discussing my problems are for me to maintain any semblance of mental health.

Over the last couple of months I have made a few steps towards a recovery – the first being asking for help (and receiving it!). Thanks to the support of Diane (one of Mind’s advocates), I am finally getting support to address my anxiety, and am finally getting seen by a psychiatrist to reassess my treatment.

The hope gained from this medical and support intervention is keeping me improving and I’m still positive that I can recover with the right help, despite ups and downs in my ongoing recovery.

I urge anyone who feels they are not getting appropriate help or support, who feels they are not being heard, it is important that you reach out for help. Asking for help from an advocate can help this plea be heard – and provide hope.

Reaching out

If you identify with anything in this blog, please ask for help. Mind in Salford’s advocates can be contacted on 0161 839 3030, and there are further contacts in our more help section.

Our Time To Change Pledges

Thursday, March 27th, 2014

At Mind in Salford we have made a series of pledges to help end mental health discrimination.

Logo Mind in Salford StackMind In Salford

  • We will support people in the community with mental or emotional distress
  • We will provide services that focus on building resilience and prevention
  • We will challenge mental health stigma whenever we come across it
  • We will reach out to minority communities to support people to speak out about their own problems
  • We will introduce a blogging space on our new website, helping people in the Great City of Salford share their experiences

Profile Markus GreenwoodMarkus

  • I pledge to speak out about my own mental health; and to stand up for anyone who is being discriminated against
  • Profile JamesJames

  • I will not hide my own mental health problems and will try to talk about them and my experiences of mental ill health
  • I will tweet about my own mental health, letting people know they are not suffering alone
  • I will continue to volunteer with Mind in Salford, helping the charity help the people of Salford
  • Profile Diane ShepherdDiane

  • I pledge to raise awareness of mental health and support any friends who are struggling